I was reading a mystery book recently from the public library. The book was in good condition; it looked maybe ten years old. It was just a mystery that I picked up so that I would have something to read on my breaks at work. In it, the main character was on vacation, and had taken along his camera. Everything was so picturesque, and he wanted to take photos of everything, but he felt like he had to save a few. He didn't want to use up all his photos in one day. What? I asked myself. When was this published? I flipped to the front of the book. 1992. 24 years ago. It can't be that old. I can't be that old. I remember 1992. I don't have to Google it. I remember Perot being a major contender. I remember that floral dress with the poofy sleeves that made me feel like Anne of Avonlea. I remember Zach teasing me that I looked "like someone's living room couch". I remember VHS tapes and cassette tapes and making a mixed tape for vacation, but my dad playing the radio in the Bronco, even though we had a tape deck, and even though the same top 40 songs were on every station. I remember The Babysitter's Club and My Teacher is an Alien. I remember 1992. It can't have been 24 years ago. It just can't. But it was. And before I read more of that mystery book, I started thinking about my camera. The camera that I had in 1992.
Do you remember the time before digital pics? When you could only take so many pictures, so they had to be good ones? Do you remember the disappointment of paying $6-10, and those were 1992 dollars mind you, only to find out that sometimes the flash didn't go off, and all you took was shadow? Do you remember the thrill of taking a really good picture, and getting to show all of your friends?
I have a plastic bin full of photos in the attic, but I haven't added to it in nearly a decade. I've made scrapbooks with the best ones, and those are just the rejects. Some are bad photos, like the one I took of all of my nieces and nephews with my own kids at the last time we were all together and happy. I had the kids line up against a picturesque sunset, and all that came out was the sunset and their silhouettes. But still, I didn't want to throw it away. It was the last time that we were all together, and happy. Some of the photos in that bin are painful memories. Many are the duplicate shots of my wedding photos that the photographer gave to me as part of our package. We got 2 prints of each photo, plus negatives. Some are vacation photos with my now ex-husband. I've been divorced 8 years now, and most of my physical photos were taken in my married days, or before. There are pictures from elementary school, when I got my first Kodak camera as a Christmas gift. There are pics from high school, when my friends and I went to a Jewel concert where Rusted Root was the opening act. Thanks to my awesome older sister, I knew who Rusted Root was.
Don't get me wrong. There are times when I am grateful for modern convenience. When my kid has questions and it's easier to show them a You-tube video than to try to explain who Prince was... When my kid is doing a report on endangered species and I want a list from 2016, not 2006 or 1996... But sometimes, I don't WANT to Google the answer. Sometimes, I WANT to look through photo albums. Sometimes, I wish we didn't have all of these "modern conveniences." I don't want to only look through photos when someone dies, and we have to make "the pamphlet".
I haven't been to a class reunion since my 5-year. 2014 should have been 15 for me, and I don't even think we had one. I know I didn't get an invite in the mail. But maybe nobody sent any out. Why bother, when everyone's online? I know who's got teenagers and who's got infants. I know who's got elementary school kids. I know who's still in my small town and who's moved to the city. And if I don't know, I can Google you and find out.
A good friend of mine has valiantly resisted joining FB. Last year, she went to Cancun. She visited me at Christmas and showed me her vacation pictures (true, they were on her phone, but still...) We spent over an hour catching up, before she went to visit a few other folks. She also visited me at Thanksgiving.
I got a temp job a month ago. It's over now - don't cry for me, Argentina - that's what "temp" means. I didn't post about it online. I told random friends that I bumped into at the school or the store, some members of the school staff (since I wouldn't be picking the kids up until 5, and they needed to go to the after-school program), and, of course, family. The temp job had a computer at the desk, and no wi-fi in the building. I was allowed to use the computer for email and Google, to look up things that I needed to know, but I was not allowed to use it for social media. That's okay. And, because of my busy home life, I didn't check my social media very much when I got home. I kept up with my online games of Scrabble, or as it's known in the modern world, "Words With Friends". For one month, I posted very little. I ran into another "Facebook recluse" in a local bar. It was someone who had created an account, literally posted twice, and then stopped logging in. I'm sure if he remembers the password that he used six years ago, his notification icon would be through the roof, and it would be 85% "Happy Birthday" messages from people who didn't seem to notice that he didn't use his page anymore. 14% would be Candy Crush and Farmville invites. Or maybe it would be the other way around, since we tend to be selfish creatures wanting to score points in some virtual game by inviting more friends.
True, social media can be useful. I know people who read the local news blog religiously - and others who scorn it. Part of my recent temp job was to scan editions of our local newspaper. I hadn't actually read the newspaper in years. I didn't know that it had a new editor, if you can call her "new" since she's been editing the paper for three years. It actually reads very well, and I recommend it. The old paper was full of errors, and since it only published once a week, and gossip ran rampant in this small town, most people knew everybody's business before the paper came out. Still, the paper I remembered had national editorials, and quality writing was hard to come by when I was in high school. Now, I can log into Good Reads and see what the internet recommends for someone of my tastes, or survey for suggestions on my Facebook page. The last great book I read was at the suggestion of an old college friend, someone I've stayed connected to through social media. If he hadn't recommended it, I don't know if I would have read it.
I tell myself that I need FB and other social media to keep track of my babysitters, if nothing else. (I have a special needs child who needs qualified babysitters, not the 14-year-old who lives down the street. Not even the 16-year-old who lives down the street. If you're not a parent - and I mean a real parent - if you don't "get it", then you don't get to care for my kids. I have very few people that I trust with my kids. One of them lives two towns over, and I will drive 25 minutes to take my kids to her house on a day that my regular sitter is not available.) But now I'm unemployed, if only technically - between temp jobs again, which doesn't make me truly "unemployed". It makes me a full-time mother without a second job.
I guess what I'm leading up to is, I'm considering leaving FB. I didn't want to make an announcement on FB, since I don't want to be viewed as a "drama queen". I also didn't want to leave it completely, since it makes me wonder if I'll ever see those people again.
The classmate who moved to New York City, who has a little boy now, no more than 2 years old...
The high school friend who moved before graduation, who is now pregnant with her first child...
The college friends who were there for me during the best and worst years of my life...
The friends from my old job, where I worked for nearly nine years before I left in 2015...
My ex-husband's relatives, some of whom send Christmas cards, but some of whom I only see once every few years...
Part of me wants to plan a family reunion, but I don't even know who to invite. How much time would it take? Where is everybody living? Which branch of the family tree should be the basis for this? And do I have the stamina to take on this project? I'm a single mom with 3 kids. Yesterday was the science fair; tomorrow is the Special Olympics. My youngest has a big project due on Monday and my oldest is gearing up for his class trip. My daughter got invited to two birthday parties on the same day, and I'm trying to plan for summer vacation but I don't want to make too many plans in case things change. Life is speeding up, and there's just not enough time.
Whoa. Breathe. Calm. Yes, it's true. Life moves pretty fast sometimes. And in the words of Ferris Buller, if you don't slow down once in a while, you just might miss it.
So look through your photos. Get some of those digital ones developed and make an album. Call up an old friend.
This is Frasier Crane, signing off.
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